Full Transcript
All right, look guys, if I was to sit down my 20-year-old self and have a bit of pep talk with him, a bit of hand-holding and say, listen guy, like, you know, these are the things you’ve got to look out for, you know, I would be incredibly thankful because it would save me a hell of a lot of time working this stuff out at a slow pace through trial and error. So I’ve put together 20 insightful tips here and let’s see if you get anything from it too. Number one is stop caring what people think, right? Think about it, like, whether it’s a project, it’s, you know, an idea for an entrepreneurial journey, it might be approaching a beautiful woman, people are going to say stuff, people are going to have thoughts and ideas about this action that you’re about to take, right? Fuck them, fuck them, like, take them to school, right? Imagine if it goes right, imagine if you approach that beautiful woman and it goes right, they’re sitting on the sidelines, they’re sniggering, they’re laughing and boom, their jaws dropped because, you know what, you pulled it off.
Take them to school, that’s the attitude, right? People can’t see what you can see inside your head, right? But when you start to take action and show people what’s possible, you become the source of inspiration. Number two, confidence comes from competence. Listen, you’re not just going to wake up one day and then think, you know what, today I’m James Bond.
It doesn’t really happen like that. It comes through putting yourself out there, doing and repeating the process, right? It’s the same thing, you go to the gym, you don’t just go to the gym and suddenly you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger, right? It’s a process, right? You’ve got to go out there, you’ve got to put in the work, you’ve got to get familiar with the subject at hand, you know, in this case it’s speaking to women, you’ve got to put the reps in. Number three, approach more women, okay? Traditionally, you know, for me it was nightlife, you know, that’s what gave me the arena to approach many, many women and build up my experiences.
But what I was missing out on in the early days is the daytime, right? Women are absolutely everywhere and there’s more of a romantic opportunity than ever to approach women in the day, right? An opportunity comes as soon as we leave our house, we don’t have to just subject this to an evening environment. So once you conquer that, once you unlock that, your whole world opens. Number four is your social circle is the cheat code, right? Think about it, if you want a better social life, if you want a better dating life, if you want a better career, it’s all in your social circle.
We’ve heard of the expression, your net worth is in your network, well, it really is true, right? Another phrase, you know, the average of the five closest people around you, that’s really true. If you want to be amazing at something, you know, put yourself around five people that are amazing at that thing so you can become the sixth, that is really true. Think of yourself as the circus conductor, right? And you’re employing colourful people to your band of merry men for the perfect show.
When you guys meet up, it’s got to be interesting and colourful for everybody. You probably are one person away from meeting your next partner in a relationship, your next business opportunity, just by saying hello to the next person you meet and start up a conversation. Get social.
Number five, stop wasting time on time wasters. You know, maybe you’re just caught in this trap of chasing that same old girl, you know, she says she’s going to meet up with you, but she flakes, you know, but you keep trying, you keep trying. Maybe you, you know, you’ve got that friend that is just so unreliable, you know, he says, yeah, we must meet up, we must meet up, but nothing ever materialises.
So I’m thinking of someone like that right now. It’s so frustrating. We’ve got to do them a favour and cut them loose.
You know, we’ve got to give them that moment of reflection as to, oh, why have I lost this person in my life? You know, give that moment to think and reflect and maybe they can have a positive change in their behaviours. So cut those people loose. They do not serve you.
Number six, money matters, but not how you think. Look, you’ve got to get your house in order. You’ve got to get your money right.
But there’s no good you going through the world thinking just because you’ve got your money right, that’s enough to make you attractive. Right. It’s what you do with it.
It’s the experiences you have and the character and the stories that you’re able to then tell. That’s what builds chemistry. You subjecting your whole life to your career and just having a big pot of cash in the bank.
So what? There’s a million other guys like that. So you’ve got to work on your hobbies, your interests and the other aspects of your life to make you more attractive. Number seven is dress like a man who commands respect.
Right. It is the same like if you’ve got to dress how you want to be treated. Right.
If you leave the house like a five, then expect to be treated like a five. So leave the house with in mind that you might just meet a beautiful woman today. Right.
If you leave the house with that in mind every day, you’re not going to get your wardrobe wrong. Number eight is learn how to lead. Right.
If you’re indecisive, it is the biggest attraction killer. You have to learn how to lead in every situation, whether it be in a social situation, romantic situation, even in your career. Being a leader is attractive.
Nine is travel alone. I think this is a really good exercise. If you’re someone that finds himself being a bit co-dependent, you’ve got to throw yourself out there into the wild, into the unknown.
And you know what? Figure it out, figure it out and gain a whole boatload of wisdom on the way out. Ten is read books, not just the Instagram captions. OK, books for me, I mean, completely changed the course of my my whole life.
Right. So we’ve constantly got to be feeding our brain with new ideas, new philosophies, new scriptures. And don’t slow down on that.
Try not to slow down on it. You’re it’s a great way to get closer to someone with so much wisdom without actually meeting them. Hey, one day maybe you will meet them.
But don’t stop reading. There’s always a new nugget to learn. Number eleven, fail fast and fail often.
Right. There’s nothing worse than someone that procrastinates and misses an opportunity, misses an opportunity, watches that opportunity pass them by only to see someone else take that thing that they wanted, that they desired. Right.
Go for it. Go for it. You know, with every every step you take towards something you learn, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t go your way.
You’ll pick up the lessons and you refine it and you improve it on the next time you do it. Number twelve is learn how to fight, but also know when to walk away. Right.
In this age that we’re living in, the masculine man is dying, the protector. Like we have to learn about violence. That doesn’t mean being a violent man.
It just knows it’s just it’s just to attain the skills of violence. Should we need to protect those that we love in the most unfortunate circumstances that may arise? At the same note, we should know when to walk away. Right.
Know when it’s just not worth it. Also invest in your conflict resolution skills. Right.
There’s no no no feeling that is more rewarding than being able to navigate some conflict into a safer place and have a more diplomatic resolution than exchanging fists and leading to a bloodbath. But you must must learn how to protect yourself so you can look after yourself. You can become more confident.
I personally recommend boxing. It’s always had a place in my life. And I think you learn a lot about yourself in it.
And you’ll also get over your fear of confrontation. Number 13 is be the fun, not the follower. Right.
If you are the party, you’re never missing out on the party. Right. Be the person that brings people together.
Be the person that lifts people up. Don’t be there as a bystander hoping something’s going to happen. Always bring something to the table at a social occasion.
Number 14 is master the art of storytelling. Okay. A boring guy with a six pack is still a boring guy with a six pack.
If you master the art of storytelling, you become magnetic. So work on your storytelling. Number 15 is get rejected more.
The reason why I put this here is because I feel that, you know, we did speak about it through like learn to fail and fail often. But I think there is also is a fear of rejection, maybe not being enough. Right.
Whenever you feel that feeling, that is the direction you got to go in. Right. Let that let that be the compass and keep on doing it and doing it and doing it and learn from it.
Learn from it. Learn from you become immune. Right.
So whenever there’s an opportunity to come your way, you never have a fear of rejection. Right. Because you’re just having fun.
You’re going over there to see if your values are in alignment with the other, as opposed to hoping that someone approves of you and coming from a weaker stance point. So rejection is an illusion. It’s about seeing if values are in alignment.
Number 16 is stop apologizing for wanting more. If you want a better life, you want a better success, don’t apologize for it. Don’t let people push you down.
Go for it. You will encounter these people in your life. And it’s usually people that come from early on in places and earlier places in your life.
And you growing makes them feel uncomfortable because it means that you are pushing yourself into a different category. And it’s a reflection of the things that they are not doing. Number 17 is take care of your health.
I’m talking your sleep, your fitness, gym, your physique. And if I if I would have got this right earlier on in my life and kept to a strict diet, strict gym routine, knew the right correct exercises, then I would have been more attractive in that sense earlier on. Right.
This sort of come back into my life a later phase after I got over injuries and took it a bit more seriously. And instantly, instantly I was noticing the inbound inquiries, those indicators of interest when you step out, which was quite an interesting thing to pick up on that hadn’t really caught my eye before. Number 18 is stop trying to impress everybody else.
OK, rather than trying to impress everybody else, let people meet your standards. So in order for you to do that, you need to know what your standards are. An exercise I like to do with my clients is make them be aware of the things that they are looking for in the other.
Right. And this will then filter down into the conversations that you end up having with the other. And when someone is in the presence of someone that knows what they want, guess what? It’s attractive because if you don’t know what you want, you’re then in a position, like I said earlier, seeking for approval, seeking for validation, hoping you get the job.
Right. So have your standards and learn how to communicate them. Number 19, the woman of your dreams.
She wants a man of value. Rather than sitting there thinking one day someone’s just going to land on your lap, you’ve got to work on your value. You’ve got to become a man of value.
You’ve got to increase your status. So put in the work and then maybe something will land quite close to you. But it’s up to you to get off your backside and reach out for it.
Number 20, right, is responsibility. Look, the only person that is responsible for where you are now and where you’re going is yourself. It’s too easy to blame someone else.
It’s too easy to blame our parents and how we’re brought up or, you know, how you’re unfairly dismissed at work or the way that your ex treated you or your continuation of being in abusive relationships. Whatever it is, it’s a you problem. It’s not a them problem.
If it’s a pattern, it’s a you problem. There’s no good staying in a victim based mindset. You lose your power.
OK, so be responsible. Where am I today? Why am I here? And how do I change my circumstances? Cool. Get back on the horse and ride the hell out of there.
Look, guys, you’re going to make mistakes and that’s OK. That’s just part of life. Just make sure they’re the right mistakes and they’re ones you can look back on and maybe laugh.
And, you know, I don’t really think you should be living a life full of regrets. So get out, get out there and enjoy yourself.